they are all the same la....fuck man!!y sung is so fortunate now? he has evryone as his frens, now i have taken sung's place to be THE OUTKAST...nice nick rit?today went over to look at the video in his hp, he immediately off it when i walked there, made me felt so unwanted la. And zi jie is jus another one of them, i jus made a joke and said srry and now he doesnt want be my fren le...dun want tok to me le some more! i was so sad during GP lesson, their laughters jus made me feel more miserable... i felt lk crying felt lk jumping down the building in front of the whole class.i was so depressed that i din realise gp passed so fast, nobody could see tt i was sad nobody felt my sadness.....n smith had a fall today evrybody was concerned abt him, if i committed suicide i gues evryone would jus shout hooray!! its not tt i am reading too much into this situation, its just tt jw they all simply ignored me!!when i walk pass jw today at the toilet today he actually bent his head down when i smiled at him!!! i felt lk why lk dis? mus make me feel so unwanted meh?ur can jus tell me straight that ur dun wan me there ma....
aft playing hockey got injured by sung, i knew it was bcos it was me who was injured so no one would care..but playing hockey it helped vent my sadness..i felt abit better then when walking home tabby n zj stopped to call sw they all and waited for them, i knew they would nv do tt for me but i still waited for them...and jw they all din appreciate want lo still walk so slow!!nobody in 12j care for me neither do they notice my existence and my sadness, i asked myself why god would alwas give me hope just to let me realise tt a miracle would nv happen to me? why mus he do this while taking away all tt i have left? why mus he put me through all these torture if he was suppose to love evry single being?just tt i am not a christian?does it mean tt i do not deserved to be loved???WHYYYYY is all this things HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tabbby remind me of the fucking bpp study grp, somehow i cannot face her too cos with her by my side i can oni feel more sad....jc life is so hectic n it has to be such a frenless one for me?tell me hw can i go on?